Your past does not condemn you, rather what you do with it can commend you.

Updated: Sep 1

My precious boy turned 3 today. His favorite gift was a singing Paw Patrol balloon. I made special birthday pancakes and we sang to that sweet smile and those big brown eyes.

Of course, after he went to bed last night, I spent my evening prepping for our big day (his big day has become mine, too) and watching videos of him over the past few years. For sure crying. I simply could not adore someone more. Where are my mamas at right now? I know you get this.

Also today, I dropped another part of my personal story on the NWM platform (watch it here). Soon after, I received a powerful message from a lifelong friend, in response to her viewing it. Memories were coming back to her and unidentified puzzle pieces were finally falling into place. Her childhood experiences of me were beginning to make sense now. She thinks well of me for exposing it all and for that, I am grateful.

Have you had a moment like this? When you learn a new piece of information and suddenly the world comes into focus?

Not everyone thinks well of me for exposing it all. I am aware of the birthday wishes that did not come for Blaise this year. Those who have claimed to love my son but have completely disappeared from his life since sharing my story. I am aware that his grandparents, if they were still living, would be in a horrible position right now, of having to choose their faith or their family. How could they not excommunicate me?

I'm a traitor.

I don't say this flippantly. It's the truth. And I don't say any of this out of anger. I say it out of loss. I am betraying them and it's incredibly hard to do. But I have to. It's the truth. And it's a big truth in the face of a big lie, so it cannot just be ignored and left alone. It's a lie that steals freedom, kills truth, and destroys hearts, minds, and souls (John 10:10). It's a lie that will forever mark me and my family.

Lies like that have to be exposed. They have to be burned by the light until they shrivel and die.

And I am not the only person this scenario applies to. This knowledge is my motivation.